Here we go again!

This is the relaunch, yo! Now that the Internet is all new and better, it's time for WoofOink to follow suit and upgrade to WOOFOINK 2.0! Not that I had much of a choice in the matter; Google practically forced me to do it, and at first I was a little pissed, but then I decided to make lemonade out of it.

Followers of the old WoofOink ( I just want to give a shout out to all three of you!) will no doubt remember my bitter, cynical rants about being trapped in a world I never made, much like a hapless, physically deformed Marvel Comics character from the 70's. Well, cranky Old Man Reggie will always have a home here, along with all of your cartoon pals like Pepto-Bear, the Man-Eating Turkey, and of course our beloved mascot, WoofOink, The Mystical Pig-Dog!

But WOOFOINK 2.0 will also take us further into the wonders of this bold new electronic age we are all a part of - that is, barring some nuclear Armageddon, in which case I will be too busy foraging for food and fighting off mutant rats to write a blog post or concern myself with anything other than my own survival and that of my loved ones.

If you like the obscure, then you'll love this blog! What could be cooler than an updated version of a blog that had a following so ultra-exclusive that only a few cutting-edge, super- hip graduate art students from Houston (Shout out to H-town!) even knew it existed? Don't you feel so totally hip and in-the-know right now? Like one of those people who listened to (insert name of popular band here) before they became popular, and who always shit-talks their latest album because it wasn't as good as (insert name of any of that band's previous albums here), but really it's just because they can't stand how accessible that band has become, and how it makes them lesser hipsters now.

God, I hate hipsters.

Anyway, a fresh start is always a good thing, even if it is forced on you by a massive corporate entity whose cafeteria actually serves the very sandwich that killed Luther Vandross! A hamburger whose bun is a glazed Kripsy Kreme doughnut! Have they no decency?!